I had a mommy meltdown...

I had a meltdown.

Not a 'mehhhh, today sucks' but a 'call your husband crying because you suck at life and being a mother' today meltdown.

I was in the middle of thinking about something and trying to get a wiggling toddler dressed so we could get out the door on time and he starts whining because, apparently, his brother touched him and then that he started crying..... ahhhhh! I snapped. I yelled, arms flailed and then I practically ran away to the bathroom and shut the door, sat down, plugged my ears and took some deep breaths. I may have rocked back and forth a little. Maybe. Maybe not. ::shrugs shoulders::

It didn't help.

As mothers we have so much going on; everywhere & all the time. We've got shit from last year running through our minds colliding with tonight's dinner and getting slaughtered by that kid screaming and pulling at your pant leg. We get overwhelmed and overstimulated. We get frustrated. We cry. And I mean ugly cry.

As I stood outside my van sobbing and talking to my husband saying things like, "I got so mad so fast. I had to lock myself in the bathroom to gather my wits. Who does that!?" He said "Honey, it happens. You're human. I bet if you posted this on your mom group thingy you would get thirty ME TOO's!!." My first reaction was 'Oh God No, I wont post this. This is awful, I am so ashamed.'

But you know what? 

I'm human. We are all human. We all have bad days. We all have breaking points and I am sure we have ALL hid from our tiny humans at one point or another. If you haven't, its coming. I promise. But just know, it happens. 

Some days I can handle the flip outs about who touched that toy first, that his blanket isn't big enough or that his strawberries are cut up and he didn't want them that way this time.... other days, not so much.

Sometimes I get so overwhelmed with what I need to do or what I think I need to do, that when the kids beg for my attention, I get frustrated and feel like a hamster on a spinning wheel. A task that should take 20 minutes tends to take well over an hour and we all know our mom to do list are much more complex than a few 20 minute sessions can handle.

A funny things happens when you do something you're not proud of. It sparks a feeling that you don't like to feel, so you tend to do whatever is necessary to not feel that way again. So, when I feel like I'm getting overwhelmed, I'm going to sit down. That's it, just drop what I'm doing and sit down with the kids. They will jump on me, hug me, shower me with attention because I'm at their level and then they will run away. At that time, I can finish my task.

So, if you see me in Wal-Mart and I'm just sitting in the isle... just smile and wave and know my method is working.

As always, thank you for ready! Follow us on Instagram for more meltdowns, because I am sure they are coming. ~Mika