Welcome to parenthood: Pick your style

Parenting to Styles

Crunchy Mama
Mother who supports home birth, breastfeeding, baby wearing, cloth diapering, co-sleeping, gentle discipline, etc. One who questions established medical authority; tends to be vegetarian and/or prepare all-organic foods. See crunchy and hippie

Attachment Parenting
Attachment parenting (AP), a phrase coined by pediatrician William Sears, is a parenting philosophy based on the principles of attachment theory in developmental psychology. According to attachment theory, the child forms a strong emotional bond with caregivers during childhood with lifelong consequences.

Gentle Parenting
Gentle Parenting is parenting with empathy, respect, understanding and boundaries.

Authoritarian Parenting
In this style of parenting, children are expected to follow the strict rules established by the parents. Failure to follow such rules usually results in punishment. Authoritarian parents fail to explain the reasoning behind these rules. If asked to explain, the parent might simply reply, "Because I said so." These parents have high demands, but are not responsive to their children.

Authoritative Parenting
Authoritative parents are not usually as controlling as authoritarian parents, allowing the child to explore more freely, thus having them make their own decisions based upon their own reasoning. Often,authoritative parents produce children who are more independent and self-reliant.

Helicopter Parenting
helicopter parent is a parent who pays extremely close attention to a child's or children's experiences and problems, particularly at educational institutions.Helicopter parents are so named because, like helicopters, they hover overhead.

~So, whats your parenting style?~

Me? I'm a breastfeeding & baby wearing mama. I don't cloth diaper. We use LUVS. We co sleep by default. We aren't vegetarians. We do buy fresh fruit and some veggies but not straight organic. Both births were planned in a hospital, though not induced, and an epidural was received and appreciated. We strive for gentle and attachment parenting and have respect for our children and their decisions and tend to do what feels right vs what is viewed, by society, to be right.

The hubs and I do understand that these small humans respond best when their needs are attended to. I mean, they are human. We always respond to their needs to the best of our ability. We talk to our children and answer any questions they have about life in general. We give them reasons why we say "no" or why we won't let them do something. Sometimes it IS just "because I said so!" and that is okay too. We do go out in the yard to entertain and play with them. However, we do encourage them to learn to play on their own. Sometimes that works, sometimes its an epic fail. We do "hover" over the littlest sometimes at the playground. Having the oldest break his elbow and wrist within one year will make you a little "helicopter-ish". I was raised that if you do not eat whats on your plate, you just did not eat. However, we have not fallen into that style with our boys, again by default. Even though we have tried, and failed, probably due to our lack of consistency. But that's okay. We are okay with that. Every time I bring Aydens picky eating habits up to him he quickly reminds me that everyone has different taste buds and he just is not ready to eat that stuff (Beans, scalloped potatoes, steak, carrots etc) Most of the time "Touché" runs through my head, I nod and say okay. I have noticed he has ventured out lately and tried a few new things. I have to remind myself that he will not (hopefully) be married with a dinner menu that consist of hot dogs, ravioli, pizza, biscuits N gravy and mac n cheese. If I'm wrong, this is my formal apology to my future daughter in law. I'm sorry. 

I am a little of every parenting style. Most of us are. How would you label that?

How about….a mother.

Just a plain ol regular I-do-whats-best-for-me-and-mine type mother. Though I don't mind labels, some people do. I don't see the majority of the labels being bad, though some are spoken with that negative tone. Today's society can turn, flip and spin anything and make it negative. I don't want to be judged and try, very hard, not to judge others. 

As women and mothers, we need to lift each other up. Stop giving that mama the side eye at the park because she's not playing with her child.  Maybe she is going through a rough time, divorce maybe? and all she wants is to see her child/ren run around, laugh and smile while she sits there reflecting on life and whats to come. Stop making snarky comments about the mama who makes her child hot dogs and macaroni and cheese for dinner while they are eating something completely different. Maybe that kid made an A on a test or just received their 2 year shots and was promised that bowl of golden deliciousness. Lets not judge that mama that sends her child to school in a vibrant mis matched ensemble, because I promise you that morning, she was quietly reminding herself to pick your battles.  

I hope no one feels like they are judged here, especially if they chose to do the opposite of what I have wrote so passionately about. The few motherhood "hot topics" that I have wrote about on this blog, I wrote because I have been on the other side. I can write how I truly feel about breastfeeding, extended rear facing and baby wearing (blog to come) because I have done the direct opposite the first time around. {Poor Ayden. He was my unintentional guinea pig.} I don't judge mothers, or anyone for that matter, because I wouldn't want it to be done to me. I merely state facts and my personal opinion on a matter, in a respective way, and let others form their own opinion. Take what you need, leave what you don't. 

My #1 advice to any parent is to do what is best for you and your family. No matter the problem, the solution is yours to make. Every mother that is doing her best and making the decisions she feels is best for her and her family is a damn good mother. Keep on keeping on, love. 

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~Mika Beggs


Teaching Lane said...

Love this post! You are right that there isn't one right way to parent...to each his/her own!

Mika Beggs said...

Thank you! and you are so very right! Thank you for reading and taking the time to comment!! Xo Love ya!

carowland said...

Haha we pick battles every day. We dont argue about what to wear or what foot a shoe goes on.

Mika Beggs said...

Hahaha I feel ya! Its an easy way to keep your sanity. Let them have their little victories. Thank you for reading and taking the time to comment!