Fostering the new parents

I was having a nice little discussion with a new internet friend from Kentucky. They are childless, not by choice, and are entering into this crazy thing called foster care. One of her concerns got me thinking.... "I'm just nervous because we have never been parents before. I just hope we get the hang of it in a timely manor." 

How hard it must be for a new mother through foster care. Love makes a family. We know this, but how hard it must be to go from 0 kids to a 5 year old trauma kid, a newborn having withdrawals or a toddler who throws mega fits because they are angry and don't know why. 

When you are pregnant, you have 9 months to prepare, to swoon, fall in love and read all the books. With fostercare, you have a few months of paperwork and some classes but really, you have about an hour to get prepared for that first placement. You have an hour to grab formula and diapers or a hello kitty blanket and pajamas for the new toddler coming in. You have no idea their favorite foods, if they brush their teeth at night or in the morning or even at all. You have no idea what may be a trigger for them, if they like to cuddle or what calms them.You have no idea what they've seen and how they feel. And you have nothing to compare it too. 

My kids are perfectly normal, happy and healthy kids. They have had zero trauma in their life. They are privileged Americans and get 100% of our attention. They still act out. The toddlers still throw tantrums like a pro and chunk things at the walls . They still refuse to eat foods that they deemed their favorite just the day before. They act ungrateful sometimes and that life is soooo boring. That's normal behavior. I know this because I live it. I have those experiences in my pocket to compare when a trauma child comes into our home and acts out. It's going to happen. But what about these new mamas, jumping into this thing and preparing their self and their family to go with the flow? The ones that trust in this journey that what happens is par for the course and they vow to be along for the ride for the greater good?


I bow to you, strong mama & dads. Can we be friends?

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