Advice to a new mother from a seasoned mother....

When you find out you're pregnant, everyone has advice for you. From the stranger on social media to the nosy lady in the grocery isle, everyone is an expert parent and knows it all, and I mean, it all. ::insert eye roll::

As a 3rd time mother, I do not know it all. I will not even pretend to know it all. I am practically winging it. Everyday. Go with the flow. My sad attempt to organize chaos is laughable, but it works for me. And with that being said, here is my advice for you. Take it or leave it. Well actually, just file it.

*Read it all. And I mean IT ALL. Read all the books, talk to all the people and research all the things. You will never know when that little piece of advice or passage in that book will save your sanity and just click. It will take you days to get used to motherhood and once you finally feel like you've got it under control, it will flip on you. I swear it. Ask any mother. That's where that advice that you stored in your brain filing cabinet comes in handy. Pull it out and give it a try.

*4th Trimester- Read this one. File it for later. Trust me. Ever wish you could get inside your newborns head to find out what the heck is going on in there? DING DING!

*Do not say, "I will never..."  insert something ridiculous, like you wont make different meals for supper time OR hand your toddler a tablet. Because you will. You will do whatever you say you wont do. Its like the universe hears you and makes notes. Seriously. File that shit.

*You will lose your shit. You will say "Oh my gosh, that's awful. Ill never do that again." You will. We are human. We have limits. You will hand the baby over to your significant other and go in the bathroom, lock the door, sit in the floor with your fingers in your ears and think "I am awful." Let me go ahead and tell you, you are not. Bad moms don't think they are bad. :) Crazy people don't think they are crazy. See how that works? Its okay to be overwhelmed and sleep deprived. Its okay to grieve your life before kids. Its okay to want to bang your head against the wall sometimes, just not all the time. (However, if you feel like this all of the time please talk to someone. Postpartum depression is real and absolutely nothing to be ashamed of. Talking through it and identifying it can help, as well as a low dose anxiety/depression medication. Take care of yourself so you can care for baby.)

You will hear things like:

"Don't spoil that baby by holding him all day!" -Impossible to spoil a newborn baby. They cry because they need you, whether that's to nurse, cuddle or diaper change. Read this!
"Formula is just as good as breast milk." Nope. Not so much. We are glad formula is there as an alternative but when available, breast milk is better for baby. Read this!
"Give that baby some cereal in his bottle and he will sleep all night, I did that for you and you turned out just fine." Nope. New research states that is no longer true with today's formula and not needed at all with breast milk. Read this!
"Just let him cry it out. No baby has ever been harmed by crying for a little while." Wrong again. Babys who Cry It Out (CIO) do eventually stop cry. Why? Because they know that no matter how much they cry, those needs will not be met. Scientific research. Read this!
"Turn that baby forward facing in the car and he will stop crying!" ACK! No! Extended rear facing is a thing y'all. Read this!

I don't know about y'all but I am sure glad that there are Scientist's that actually research things that are best for our babies. Every mother is different just as every baby is different. What works for one family may not work for another, and that's okay. Read and research your decisions. Even talk to other moms about what they do and don't do. Online mom groups are so popular right now. But whatever decisions you make for your family, make sure they are informed decisions. You are going to be tired and you are going to be overwhelmed. Don't make any decisions based off one bad day. Read and research. There is some good stuff out there y'all!

And last but not least... #YouDoYOUBooBoo

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