Welcome to parenthood: Pick your style

Parenting to Styles

Crunchy Mama
  • Mother who supports home birth, breastfeeding, baby wearing, cloth diapering, co-sleeping, gentle discipline, etc. One who questions established medical authority; tends to be vegetarian and/or prepare all-organic foods. See crunchy and hippie
Attachment Parenting

  • Attachment parenting (AP), a phrase coined by pediatrician William Sears, is a parenting philosophy based on the principles of attachment theory in developmental psychology. According to attachment theory, the child forms a strong emotional bond with caregivers during childhood with lifelong consequences.
Gentle Parenting
  • Gentle Parenting is parenting with empathy, respect, understanding and boundaries.
Authoritarian Parenting
  • In this style of parenting, children are expected to follow the strict rules established by the parents. Failure to follow such rules usually results in punishment. Authoritarian parents fail to explain the reasoning behind these rules. If asked to explain, the parent might simply reply, "Because I said so." These parents have high demands, but are not responsive to their children.

Authoritative Parenting

  • Authoritative parents are not usually as controlling as authoritarian parents, allowing the child to explore more freely, thus having them make their own decisions based upon their own reasoning. Often,authoritative parents produce children who are more independent and self-reliant.
Helicopter Parenting
  • helicopter parent is a parent who pays extremely close attention to a child's or children's experiences and problems, particularly at educational institutions.Helicopter parents are so named because, like helicopters, they hover overhead.

~So, whats your parenting style?~

Me? I'm a. 
breastfeeding, baby wearing mama. I don't cloth diaper. We use LUVS :) We don't co sleep, though we did for the first few months (We sleep much better with our own wiggle room). We aren't vegetarians. We do buy fresh fruit and some veggies but organic food is expensive! We are very much PRO vaccinations and receive medical attention when necessary. (I do work at a Dr's office, ya know) Both births were planned in a hospital and an epidural was received and appreciated.

 Well damn, there went the crunchy mama title. That was my go-to label. 

The hubs and I do understand that these small humans respond best when their needs are attended too. I mean, they are human. We always respond to their needs to the best of our ability. We are not fans of the Cry It Out method but we do give the littlest a small amount of time to settle himself back down if he wakes in the middle of the night. I do not remember Ayden having any problems going to bed and sleeping through the night, though I could have forgotten due to lack of sleep. (har,har) Ramsey is another story. He prefers to be rocked and nursed to sleep most each night. I'm okay with that.  Each child has had his own preferences. We do talk to our children and answer any questions they have about life in general. An example being questions Ayden has had recently about the Baltimore riots. I answered him the best way I knew how, with honesty. We, mostly, give them reasons why we say "no" or why we won't let them do something. Sometimes it IS just "because I said so!". We do go out in the yard to entertain and play with them. However, we do encourage them to learn to play on their own. Sometimes that works, sometimes its an epic fail. We do take them to the playground and usually "hover" over the littlest. Having the oldest break his elbow and wrist within one year will make you a little "helicopter-ish". And even though I was raised that if you do not eat whats on your plate, you just did not eat. However, and unfortunately, we have not fallen into that style with our boys. Even though we have tried, and failed, probably due to our lack of consistency. But that's okay. We are okay with that. Every time I bring Aydens picky eating habits up to him he quickly reminds me that everyone has different taste buds and he just is not ready to eat that stuff (Beans, scalloped potatoes, steak, carrots etc) Most of the time "Touché" runs through my head, I nod and say okay. I have noticed he has ventured out lately and tried a few new things. I have to remind myself that he will not (hopefully) be married with a dinner menu that consist of hot dogs, ravioli, pizza, biscuits N gravy and mac n cheese. If I'm wrong, this is my formal apology to my future daughter in law. I'm sorry. 

I am a little of every parenting style, obviously. Most of us are. I don't even want to try and label that. What would you call it?

How about….a mother.

Just a plain ol regular I-do-whats-best-for-me-and-mine type mother. Though I don't mind labels, some people do. I don't see the majority of the labels being bad, though some are spoken with that negative tone. Todays society can turn, flip and spin anything and make it negative. I don't want to be judged and try, very hard, not to judge others. 

As women and mothers, we need to lift each other up. Stop giving that mama the side eye at the park because she's not playing with her child.  Maybe she is going through a rough time, divorce maybe? and all she wants is to see her child/ren run around, laugh and smile while she sits there reflecting on life and whats to come. Stop making snarky comments about the mama who makes her child hot dogs and macaroni and cheese for dinner while they are eating something completely different. Maybe that kid made an A on a test or just received their 2 year shots and was promised that bowl of golden deliciousness. Lets not judge that mama that sends her child to school in a vibrant mis matched ensemble, because I promise you that morning, she was quietly reminding herself to pick your battles.  

I hope no one feels like they are judged here, especially if they chose to do the opposite of what I have wrote so passionately about. The few motherhood "hot topics" that I have wrote about on this blog, I wrote because I have been on the other side. I can write how I truly feel about breastfeeding, extended rear facing and baby wearing (blog too come) because I have done the direct opposite the first time around. {Poor Ayden. He was my unintentional guinea pig. } I don't judge mothers, or anyone for that matter, because I wouldn't want it to be done to me. I merely state facts and my personal opinion on a matter, in a respective way, and let others form their own opinion. 

My #1 advice to any parent is to do what is best for you and your family. No matter the problem, the solution is yours to make. Every mother that is doing her best and making the decisions she feels is best for her and her family is a damn good mother. Keep on keeping on, love. 

We all parent different but all do the best we can. That is all that matters.

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~Mika Beggs

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Teaching Lane said...

Love this post! You are right that there isn't one right way to parent...to each his/her own!

Mika Beggs said...

Thank you! and you are so very right! Thank you for reading and taking the time to comment!! Xo Love ya!

carowland said...

Haha we pick battles every day. We dont argue about what to wear or what foot a shoe goes on.

Mika Beggs said...

Hahaha I feel ya! Its an easy way to keep your sanity. Let them have their little victories. Thank you for reading and taking the time to comment!